Homes & Dreams & Searching for My Name

I have a tendency to fixate all of my energy on things and lose focus of all else. Tunnel vision. I recently decided that we would sell our current home; and, after many discussions with my husband, he agreed that it was something we should absolutely shoot for – soon, not today, not tomorrow, but soon.

I jumped on his words, taking them to the extreme, and drove him all the way down to as many open houses in my OKC neighborhood of choice. Enter mistake: real-estate impropriety number one – never look at houses until you are able to purchase; in other words, put current home on market, get a contract, then go-a-hunting. If one falls in love with a place and cannot yet get it? Formula for heartbreak.
We met with a real estate agent last night; the very agent that is currently listing the home I decided that I had to have. We were going to list our own casa and put a contingency offer on the prospective abode through him. I had some reservations going into our meeting last night. For one, I have always known that before I sell my house, I will have to neutralize the color palette that coats my walls in bright hues – not everyone wants a pink living room, I do realize. I also had the nagging feeling that I would need to fatten my pocket with a bit more cash before we could pick up and go to my dream hood, live in my sweet little bungalow.
All these reservations aside, I wanted to hear from the real estate agent – see how much we could list our current home for, crunch some numbers with him by my side. (I had already completed a thorough number crunching: already having done calculations for closing, agent fees, down payment, etc. I speculated just the magic number I needed and knew the realistic total I could list my home for after analyzing our neighborhood market; but again, I needed to hear it from someone else).
An hour later, I heard what I already knew. And mister agent man left with the agreement to reconvene in the spring, when the market was ripe again with possibility and our pockets were a little chubbier with some dinero. Mateo knew I was crushed; and while he too was disappointed, he is better at taking things as they come and realizing there is a reason for everything. Tears ensued. I had myself a good cry and had a good chat with the my mister, who is good about getting my feet back on he ground and calming me. We set some goals, made some plans – those two things help me the most because I am so visionary. We know what we want and have an approximate timeline. My evening presented a hiccup, a little bump in the road. It was a little shoulder tap telling me to chill and relax, reminding me that I am not in control. I was rocked because there is nothing more sobering than the universe punching me with the power of cliches – over used they are, but only for a reason because my life seems to speak them.
So today is a new day and I am going to spend it right, enjoy what I have, and stop obsessing so much over the future. Little gal and I are headed out for some play time at the splash park and I will watch her run in and out water spouts, while she giggles and screams – the truly good stuff in life. I am going to forget about magic numbers and wishes for a while, and let things work out as they will. And I am going to spend lots of time listening to Melanie Pain because she makes me feel happy. …I will keep looking for my name, sing in the morning, sing in the evening, walk through the mountains, walk through the desert.

Here she is live –  Melanie Pain, My Name:


I bet hubs could find this vinyl for me to cheer me up even more?

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